Single Girl,

Getting proper care for Lupus is incredibly challenging. I do not personally suffer from this disease, but a close friend of mine does. The challenges she faced getting her physicians to properly investigate and finally diagnosis it were incredible. Luckily she was very knowledgeable in reviewing the medical literature herself and kept pushing and asking questions until finally they took her seriously. I can only imagine how tough it is to deal with resistance on top of the abuse you suffered as well.

Do you currently have a better therapist or are you one your own now? Did YOU find the Lupus support group helpful? I can see where meeting and swapping stories of misery with other suffers might be detrimental. But when faced with a chronic condition that the general public really doesn't understand I can see where connecting with others in the same situation would be beneficial too. Especially with the sharing of coping skills and treatment information. Kind of like PC

Thank you for reaching out and offering your support.

Nightbird a break might be an option. When I do stop therapy I plan on doing it the right way so I can return if I want at a later date without GUILT.

Although I have been keeping my mind busy on other things this morning and have been very productive, I can already start to feel my anxiety about therapy starting. The stupid thing is when I breath and ask myself why, nothing surfaces. My therapist if very compassionate, non-judgmental, lets me talk about anything, even avoid topics if I want to. There is no pressure on me from her. I should be relaxed and excited to have someone give me their undivided attention. But instead I get anxious. It just doesn't make sense. I think I just can't handle being the center of attention. Maybe that is something I will never overcome.

Thanks again for everyone's replys