So sorry you are in that situation. Wish I knew exactly how to help.

Not sure this is a good idea, but you might consider seeing a psychologist for advice on how to deal with your step son. Sometimes it helps to have a professional in one's corner. The problems you mentioned seem too heavy a burden to bear without professional help.

I would not tell your step son that you are doing this since it seems he is afflicted with paranoia. There are online psychologists who can offer advice for a small fee. I don't have any personal experience with this service however.

Since I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist myself, I am clueless about how to handle the heavy burdens that rest on your shoulders. Perhaps even my advice about seeking out professional help is not good. Sometimes one wants to help someone but lacks the knowledge, experience, insight and skill to be truly helpful.

Hopefully other members here will see your post and have better words for you than my poor words. I can't even imagine the frustration you go through. It must be distressing, draining and demoralizing. Sounds like you are already doing everything you can think of. Do you think it might be time to call in a professional?

Please lean us here in these Forums for moral support as your navigate this unwelcome state of affairs. Apologies again for not knowing how to be helpful. My heart goes out to you.