You do not need to be kind and compassionate towards abusers and assailants. No one recommends that but there have many instances you described when you can show kindness, less assumption, get into less confrontation and less judgement and calmer response.

If people are busy, it doesn’t mean they are liars or blow you off and they don’t need to be blocked and deleted. If people have kids it doesn’t mean they dislike or reject those who have no kids, it’s not true. Just because people cannot see you as often as you’d like it doesn’t mean you have to confront them or delete them. Just because people like routine activities and don’t like new restaurants or don’t want to talk about make up it doesn’t mean they are not worth your time. There have been many examples of situations when you could be less confrontational.

I know you dislike therapy but you’d benefit from discussing with a therapist how to respond to people irl. There are times when it’s ok to confront, ok to block and there are times when showing kindness is paramount.

I had an outing planned today with my girl friends. Movie and lunch. I woke up not feeling well and in fact have symptoms similar to when I had covid. Would it be ok for them to pass a judgement call me a liar, “blowing them off”, don’t like them because one has no children, block and delete me? Instead they showed kindness. Checked on me later etc And that’s why we’ve been friends for years. They’ve been times some of us were too busy to meet, had other plans, were sick, I am the only one married so I have plans with my husband. It’s ok. They understand and I understand too. No need to always be harsh. It alienates people