@MuddyBoots. I had two relatively successful attempts at staying sober, but wound up going back out to drink more. I've had over 20 years of sobriety now, though.. After the first year, or so, the urge to drink seemed to disappear altogether. I still go to 4-5 AA meetings a week. I know this approach isn't for everyone, but it worked for me and I have a steady group of good friends who have stayed sober. It helped me knowing I wasn't alone. To be honest, I don't think I would have been sober this long without AA, but perhaps I'm just weak.

You're the only one who can determine whether you're ready to stop using. No one can force you to seek help. There's a saying in AA, that "it takes what it takes" to make a decision. If I recall correctly, you've tried NA before. There are folks in AA who have drug problems that dwarfed their drinking problems. I have a good friend whose drug of choice was heroin. The only requirement to attend AA is a desire to stop drinking. If that 's the case, you'll probably be welcomed with open arms despite the fact you favor other substances over alcohol.

As @Soupe du jour pointed out, our psych meds don't mix well when we abuse other substances. If I'm depressed, the absolute worst thing I could do is pour a depressant (alcohol) into my system. I've had suicide attempts that were probably more like self abuse since I'm still alive and kicking. Each time I did this I was either drunk or zonked out on benzos.

Whatever you decide to do, you'll be in my thoughts. You don't have to be alone in this.