Good morning all. I think the rain was nice white noise last night - good for a movie.

I'm over all these violent films. It no longer intrigues me. The glamour of it all.


People drive down the street in their little metal boxes, rage at you (and I am no exception), and expect everything to go la-di-da afterwards.


People are people. Can't always predict the future. At what point is overthinking destructive? At what age should I just, run with what I think I know and start being comfortable sharing my experiences? Must I reach a point to teach, or should it have been a desire that fulfilled me from the start? Because it didn't. Or at least, not in the sense of having authority over people - I am afraid I'd misuse it.


Am I even stable enough to not be in a more fulfilling and creative line of work - to be in a non structured environment? Have I learned from my past, or am I taking this life for granted?

Ugh, don't mean to stirr things up. It's just that in my current situation, such thoughts tend to make me seem "jaded" and cause my significant other to get into negative thinking. I hop in and out of negativity, dysthymic since 22, bipolar at 25, and confused at 31.

Thanks for following these thoughts and I apologize if it made you feel a certain way.

Vent over, enjoy the day - it could be the best one of your life. Don't think about the probability of that being true. The mere fact that it could be is always true.

And yeah, I guess to come full circle, this disorder is a thing, and a high dose of an anticonvulsant helps me, personally, but it's still clearly a thing.