Yesterday was a very very very hard day. I had flashbacks and intense overwhelming feelings. I tried everything to feel better. I couldnt do it. I tried all day to reach one of my therapists and didnt get a hold of her until after 5 pm. It started from my reg therapists triggering me last week. It was very innocent on her part and had nothing to do with me. SInce then I have been going back and forth in feeling ok then flashbacks and over powering feelings. I think the over powering feelings are a form of flashbacks. Yesterday I couldnt do it any longer. I was going to the hospital to see if they could help me stop the cycle of flashbacks. I never ever want to go to the hospital. I was in one when I was 18-19. Very scary experience. Im kind of mad at my therapists. I followed all the preplanning we had done, and they dropped the ball on their part. When I finally got a hold of one it took like 10 min to help me. I must say I called her around 5 and asked if she was busy and she said yes so I said never mind and hung up . Then I just lost it.I called her back and told her I didnt need her and I wasnt coming back. She finally got how triggered I was. SHe hadnt gotten any of my phone calls she was busy all day. She helped me by suggesting I put these feelings and stuff in a real box ane keep them there until I see her Thursday. That was so simple and so helpful. I have the flashbacks still but instead of thinking about it I just remember its in the box. Im doing ok today kinda drained. Thanks for listening.