I think it's ok for a therapist to not work with touch. Whilst touch is a crucial way for some people to connect, touch is also complex and charged for some people. Has he explained why he doesn't work with you with touch? Is it because of his personal boundary, or because he doesn't believe it would be therapeutic for you, or other reasons? It might help to know that it's his boundary and has nothing to do with you.

I am not someone who likes touch and I don't want touch in therapy - at this point. I would like to be someone who likes touch and receives comfort from it. As such, my therapist has said we might get to a point where we work with it. Right now, I find the thought of her touching me low-key disgusting and certainly deeply uncomfortable, but equally, I wouldn't like it if I knew that physical contact was never going to be option. I don't like things being shut down.

Is it worth exploring what touch would give you? You talk about it being a physiological need and a way of calming your nervous system. Can he go any way towards something collaborative? For example, wrapping you tightly in a blanket, even passing you the blanket, or placing cushions around you or sitting on the floor with you? Something which helps you feel the boundary of touch (and that he has a part in) without him touching you. There's a lot of somatic work around calming over-stimulation and bringing you back into your window of tolerance - slowing down movement, you touching "neutral" parts of your body, tapping, etc - maybe it would be possible to incorporate some elements of this into the work, especially for him to do alongside you or mirroring you.

I don't know. I can also imagine that if you have such a yearning for touch that anything which tries to replicate touch without the actual touch itself would just highlight that the touch is missing and then you go full circle right back to feeling more alone and untouchable. I guess even this discussion and your opening post shows that touch is complicated and I would try and not read so much into the ease with which other people talk about it - both of wanting it and of receiving it. Maybe in its absence he is actually opening up a lot of space for you to explore the extremely painful ground of (perceived) untouchable you.