She might have considered meeting in person to be "too soon", she could be thinking that she doesn't know you well enough yet for that.

With regard to phone calls, she could be thinking that she doesn't know you well enough to engage on the phone.

People move at different paces in developing friendships.

An option might have been to have a texting-only relationship for a while, to enhance mutual trust, and see what develops.

I know that you don't want a texting-only relationship. It could, though, be a stepping stone to what you do want.

If you don't want even that, so be it. I would, though, advise against calling people liars. This woman was favorably enough disposed to you to be kind on FB and send her phone number. Why extinguish that favorable feeling?

Motts, I’m so sorry to hear about what you went through with each situation. Those people were very rude & immature. Especially that receptionist. She should be fired for being rude & unprofessional. Was she young by any chance?

Thank you, jesyka! She did act rude and immature by calling me a ‘f—— weirdo’ via text message in response to my text letting her know that I just don’t have space after my mom’s death for people who aren’t really interested in my friendship. I sent her that text b/c she and I met on a FB grief group as she lost her mom recently too. She is the one who reached out to me too, to ask me to be her FB friend. So that’s why her calling me a name and lashing out seemed really childish, even if that’s genuinely how she felt (i.e Bill’s observation). That woman is younger than me in her 40s. The receptionist who called me the B word is in her 60s.

That FB lady obviously just wanted a text only or FB only kind of friendship. She sounded like a fake person. A lot of people use the ‘busy’ excuse to blow people off. It took me forever to realize that it’s an excuse.

I agree with you 100%!! She wasn’t really interested in a real life friendship. I think she believed that since we met online on a FB grief group, she could just keep me in that box of virtual friends - someone she can message about her mom’s death since my mom died too recently.

Her ‘busy’ excuse was lame because everyone knows its code for “you’re just not a priority in my life.” It’s not a real reason to blow someone off. It’s just an excuse. And it’s lame because it’s such a blatant lie. I get it. She doesn’t prioritize a real friendship offline with me. She’s allowed to keep me in her virtual box. Doesn’t mean I agree or want to be someone’s virtual agony aunt. She can’t just message me and complain and grieve about her mom’s death, and not expect me to expect the same from her. You can’t do that. I mean. I don’t do that. I don’t have one sided friendships with people because that’s wrong.

Most people aren’t straightforward. A lot of people are afraid of ‘confrontation’ & hurtting other people’s feelings. That’s why ghosting has become so common these days. That & the slow fade too even with long term friendships.

I wonder why that is. I do think she’s afraid of ‘confrontation’ but I don’t think she was afraid of hurting my feelings, b/c she called me a F—- weirdo for the boundary I set with her, “I don’t want a fake friendship right now. I only want real friendships.” She didn’t agree so she got mad and called me a name, b/c I called her bluff for blowing me off and being fake to me. I hate fake people. I hate people who lie, who get mad at me when I see them lying and tell them, “I see you lying to me. I don’t deserve that treatment.” Of course she got mad. I called her on her b.s.

I had to have those things explained to me many times by other people. I’m like you in this way. It hurts. It sucks that most people communicate in this wussy way including men sometimes, but it us what it is.

I sympathize with you since you operate just like I do. You and I are straightforward and direct because we know we deserve to be treated with respect.

It’s when we communicate this way to people who are bullsh(tters who don’t like transparent people, who don’t like being held accountable for their bull, that they are used to getting away with b/c as you pointed out, most people just accept other people’s poor treatment of them and put up with it.

Those people will never change. Ok, fine. But that doesn’t mean I have to be a silent victim to their crap. I am fed up with fake people. Why should I be the one tho change so I can accommodate their interpersonal style. That’s not fair to me and it puts my needs second.

Next time people give you lame excuses, just delete & block their number or accept what they’re willing & able to give & not excpect more from them.

Great advice! I will do that. I won’t even acknowledge their crap next time. They already know they’re treating me bad. So me blocking and deleting them wont’ even affect them.

I have done that recently with a bunch of women I met who I felt weren’t sincere. I didn’t say anything. I just trusted my gut. One woman was obviously was blowing me iff after she got a new b.f.

Good for you, jesyka! I’m proud of you for trusting yoru gut.

Maybe that lady needed more time to get to know you better before she felt comfortable meeting you, who knows?

Who knows. Bill brought up good points that I will listen to. As did you. I just need to find ‘my people.’ At 52, I still haven’t found them. That’s due to ME. I can’t control other people. I can just put myself out there and hope that eventually I will find people who accept me for who I am and who like me despite my flaws.

She shouldn’t have called you a weirdo though. That was very rude. As for the receptionist, I’d complain about her to H.R too. What a ******! Hopefully she’ll get fired soon. They should’ve let you in the building. She could’ve had someone let you in.

I agree. Her calling me a weirdo was unnecessary and just mean. That global company doesn’t have a local human resources dept so I gave up. I am not working with that out of state temp agency anymore either. That receptionist shouldn’t have locked the front door and blocked it.

She should have signaled to someone to let me in, while she was on the phone. That would have been the professional way to handle the situation. I hope she gets fired but again, “not my monkey, not my circus.” I’m disappointed about the loss of the stable income but I can make that up with getting multiple part time jobs which I am in the process of doing right now. The gig economy at least makes that possible so I won’t end up worse off than I am now.
She just didn’t care. It’s a good thing that you didn’t get the job there as you wouldn’t have been treated with respect there obviously. You deserve better than that.

As for your friend, you’re right about what you said. She doesn’t understand your struggles as she has never walked in your shoes.

Nope. SHe doesn’t and never did.

She lacks empathy to some degree. You didn’t really do anything wrong. I’d be upset if I were you too. I’m the same way.

She totally lacks empathy. I didn’t do anything wrong except set a boundary with her. She didn’t like being called out so she got mad at called me a F—— weirdo which was dumb and immature for her to do, for 40-something woman.

I’m also emotional & I would tell people off too, lol. I have told many people off before. I recently got my Lyft account permanently deactivated for daring to report this idiot driver.

He lied about what happened & accused me of assaulting him which was b.s to protect himself. He dropped me off in an unsafe area & he knew it.

Sorry for the rant. If I would’ve kept quiet & reported him instead, then I probably would still have my account. Stupid Lyft took his side unfortunately. You never know how far some people will go to get back at you.

I’m not saying to not speak up. I’m just saying, be careful as there are some nasty & vindictive people out there who are unhinged.

If you’re ever in a situation to whete a company makes you wait outside for an interview, leave. It is a HUGE red flag! It means that you’ll be treated like garbage! I’ve had that happen to me too.

Don’t ever tolerate disrespect. Especially for a contract or low paying job! It’s not worth it!

You are to good for that nonsense! A lot of people suck! Unfortunately a lot of people don’t respond well to honesty. It’s hard being an honest person in a world full of fake people.

Although I agree with most of what you said, perhaps “blocking and deleting” because you think their excuse is lame might be a bit harsh.

There’ve been times when I truly was too busy to even get my basic needs met let alone have social life. I’d be hurt if people blocked and deleted me because they thought I was fake or gave lame excuses.

It’s important to stand up for ourselves but we don’t want to lose all connections with people because we don’t trust they have valid reasons for something.

OK, maybe I shouldn’t have done that. I’ve had it with people though. I have very little patience left for nonsense. I definitely did the right thing with the lady with the b.f. She only talked about herself all the time. It was way, way to much. She never ever asked me anything about myself.

I’ll try to be more patient next time.

If you sit and think about how long human beings have exited and then think about what we have learned just in maybe the last 30 years alone? Women were blamed and shamed by men and even other women when they failed to produce a male child.

I think about Henry the eighth and the beheadings. We learned it was NOT the failure of the woman but in the man.

Just because we think someone should know better, doesn’t mean they do.