Quote:
Originally Posted by KLL85
We’ve had lots of conversations around why he won’t allow touch. He has said if he believed there was a way to do it that would keep us both safe then he would consider it. However because we can’t guarantee how I will react to it then it’s too risky. He also agreed that it was about the risk to him as a therapist as well in case I made accusations against him, which really hurt as I would never do that without a true and valid reason. It felt like he believed I would falsely accuse him.
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All aspects of therapy are risky because we are going into the unknown and experiencing new things. Risk can be managed.
I had imagined that his reasons might have been to do with his personal boundaries about touch (he doesn't like it, only touches loved ones, etc), not because he is viewing a client as a predatory lawsuit in waiting. Honestly, with this attitude, I would not trust him with touch. The risk to him because you might report him?! That is extremely offensive and hurtful. Of course you would not accuse him of anything unless he perpetrated an offense and it's really prejudiced of him to believe otherwise. He does not sound skilled enough to work with touch. As painful as it is for him to withhold that element of the work, ironically it might be best for you to not experience that with him if he is unable to practice it with awareness and confidence.
As an aside, it's interesting that you don't like touch but want touch with him - the person who is not willing to give it. I would want to explore that.