How has the anxiety been lately, overall? Has it calmed down a bit, or is it still pretty intense at times? Is this the time of year when it tends to ease? Do the meds feel like they are helping?
That's interesting that you've always had a strong focus, but the anxiety has cropped up and changed how you can, or can't, do that. Do you think the anxiety is somehow a result of your ability to be strongly focused, or something unrelated that ruins your ability to focus?
Exhaustion has always been a big factor for me with anxiety, and not like being tired, but more like worn out- if that makes sense? Maybe tired is physical and worn out is mental? It can be much easier to slouch on the sofa and power down physically, than it is to power down mentally.
In recent months I've been reading essays by The Minimalists, and one of their friends has a habit of taking a mental break for 30 minutes each day. The guy says he just relaxes and lets his mind wander wherever it wants to go for 30 minutes- then he gets back to his other tasks, and is more productive and less distracted because he's allowed the random stuff to process itself out. It's probably an inadvertent CBT/mindfulness technique. It's an interesting way to test if you have the ability to allow thoughts to float around and come and go, rather than latching on and mentally gnawing on them (like I tend to).
It can definitely be hard to get social needs met as an introvert. It's tough to connect with people who "get it" and won't be put off if you take a little space for yourself. Sometimes it seems easier for me to socialize with casual acquaintances- the kind that you can seek out randomly and chat up, if and when you're feeling social. Back when DD was in elementary school, I used to walk up to get her, and would talk to the same six or so people everyday, which was great. Now that she's older, I miss that very predictable connection that didn't come with a lot of time, or other, expectations/obligations.
Your grandfather sounds amazing. He came up earlier in the thread, didn't he? You must feel blessed to have him. It sounds like he was the one who really stepped up for your needs when neither of your parents were able to do that for you.
After having a kid, I became especially aware of the difference between showing up in a meaningful way, and just showing up. It sounds like your grandfather is one of those people who knows how to connect and show up in a truly meaningful way.
Iroh is easily one of my all time favorite animated characters. I love him and how he operates through the world in such a straightforward and zen way. That's really awesome that your grandfather embodied a lot of Iroh's vibe, and great that you had someone like that as a mentor and supporter.
Oops, I misunderstood what you posted about the progressive relaxation technique as something you wanted to try for sleep's sake. Maybe you meant just as a relaxation technique in general? That's good if sleep isn't an issue for you (you may have said that before on the thread), since it is for so many anxiety sufferers. You do have a very unique work schedule.
I hadn't thought about the TRE falling into a category of self soothing repetition. That's a really good perspective, you might be on to something.
I don't mind posting here, but if you feel like it gets too long, or too off topic for the forum, you're more than welcome to shoot a private message my way.
Thanks for sharing your site. That makes it easier to understand what you do. I only had a chance to read a little, but will try to get back to look at it a bit more later. It looks interesting, and you're an excellent writer.
How are your talleys coming along with BotW? Got all the shrines now? Good luck finding those seeds, lol.
Yes, it's my dear daughter (DD) who is a devout Zelda fangirl and plays TotK. She hasn't played in a few days, but has a loooong ways to go. She also plays a few other games as well, but this week has been Mario Karting with me
. It's hot as heck here right now, so it's lots of staying inside and loafing around for us.
Hope you're doing well!