Quote:
Originally Posted by Nammu
This is what I was trying to point out. You start off fine then a person does something human and you go right to defense mode making hostile labels, she’s flaky. Or if she’s not flaky she most be evil and is trying to push you out of her life. Black or white thinking.
Given your age she can simply be a kind agreeable person who forgets a lot. She sounds like a very nice person. There’s a thousand innocent reason for her actions. Not two. The label flaky is judgmental and harsh. The thinking she has evil machinations is you projecting your own fears.
Just have a no confrontation talk and ask her if she notices she forgets things a lot. That it upset you because you think it means she’s trying to dump you. That’s honest. Not labeling people and dumping them because they’re human.
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OK, I’ll try to be more patient & tolerant for lack of a better word from now on.
Anyways, I texted her yesterday to see what was going on instead of deleting her number.
I asked her if everything was OK or not as I didn’t hear back from her yet. I also asked her if she tends to forget things as I noticed she didn’t get back to me 3 times And that I’d stop contacting her if I didn’t hear back from her as I don’t want to bother her.
I took a huge risk but it paid off. She told me that she has been more forgetful lately & said that she has been very busy.
She asked me if I’d like to get together this week. Hopefully she won’t forget again. Hopefully she isn’t a flaky person. Flaky people are hard for me to deal with personally. There is only so much flakiness I can take. I have issues with abandonment.
So I’ll take things easy & slow with this lady & try to be more paitient this time.
She does seem like a genuine & cool person. She is a teacher who works with autistic kids & she worked at a tiger sanctuary to help save tigers.
She also has anxiety issues that might be more severe then mine since she mentioned having problems going to the store & the mall. I don’t understand how she can risk her life being around a tiger & yet feel anxious about that. It is what it is though.
She said she’d feel more comfortable going to the mall with another person.
I feel a sense of relief for now. Hopefully she isn’t just saying this to be nice then when the time comes, she’ll flake out again. I’ll be sure to confirm plans with her the day before to help her remember things.