I don't take valproic, but I do have some OCD. For instance, I might think about saying something or doing something of a violent or sexual nature to make someone think poorly of me. I would not act on these intrusive thoughts, but they make me really uncomfortable and self-conscious and I just want to leave the social situation as fast as I can.
It doesn't happen often, but when it does it happens when I'm really stressed and anxious and don't know the person well and feel unsafe. Maybe it's pressure I put on myself to make a good impression and I want to, as you say, 'self-sabotage'.
It really sucks to have these kinds of intrusive thoughts.
Any ideas about how to not have them anymore?