Hi JTL. I'm coming to this thread very late in it's development, and - in all honesty - I have not read every page. But your story touched me to where I feel compelled to offer a few thoughts . . . for whatever they're worth.

First of all, you need to knock off this business of blaming yourself for everything. You are way too quick to say: "mea culpa, mea culpa." (my fault, my fault) That may be the right frame of mind to get into, when you're on your knees, asking the Almighty to forgive you all your human inadequacies and guide you toward being a better man, if you're inclined toward that sort of prayer . . . . . but it'll get you nowhere with women.

First of all, knee-jerk apologizing - which you're inclined to do - short circuits the actual thinking that is needed to analyze and figure out what's really going on. You've assigned blame to failings of yours that your wife probably didn't even care that much about. Women don't leave men over occasional temper flares. But women do get very bored with men who are excessively self-effacing. Y
I'm amazed at how many threads have been posted in this forum by men who sounded just like you - in that they became heartbroken over their failure to please women whom they so badly wanted to please. Usually, they have sounded like very nice guys, but way too quick to idealize their wives and castigate themselves - like that's the safest thing to do. It's not.

Furthermore, you put her on a pedestal that she had no right to be on . . . except in her own mind. Any woman who would announce to her husband, via a text-message, that she's basically done with their marriage is some kind of piece-of-work, herself. That would be appropriate, if the woman were in a shelter for battered women. Not in this case. And all that blather about how she's on a much higher spiritual path than where your soul is at . . . . doing all her meditating . . . . . . but hanging on to you for enough years to get her non-spiritual needs met?
Puleeeze! Yeah, she saw your potential alright. Spiritual, my behind! This lady is pretty materialistic. You idealized her. That kept you from knowing the actual flesh-and-blood creature that you were living with. A woman is not flattered by being loved for someone whom she is not.

It is great that you are gentleman enough to not want to trash a woman who is breaking your heart. Stay that way. Never run her down to other people, especially not to other women. But lift your head up and recognize that - to some extent - you got played. It may be that your wife was not a person looking for a passionate physical bond. Perhaps, that's just not her thing. She found you suitable in other ways. (You did help rear her child, and you were good at that.) Now, at age 55, she doesn't want to even pretend anymore. It's just too much bother for her. That's really a deficit in her own make-up. You deserve to be loved fully, including physically, which is what you have offered.

Do protect yourself financially. I hope you've gotten some legal advice. Your wife sounds more than capable of making sure she keeps her own nest well-feathered. Don't concede too much of your joint assets. Be fair to yourself . . . and to a future relationship that you will need to invest in. Sounds like you've met someone who's interested in you. That is very good for your self-confidence. Enjoy it. Take it easy though. Any woman you meet is going to have her share of faults. And, for heaven's sake, give yourself some credit for being desirable and worthy of being loved - just as you are.