I'm not sure if I can give good advice either. I'm content.. As I remember *omg my cat is meowing.. Why does she want constant attention, needs to go outside. I was going to get a leash, to be outside.. When I walk in the door "meow meow", and it's like I'm in some really disturbing reality* years ago, I was like "I'm going to buy the iphone 6+, so I can be more productive" (And it still wasn't good technology. *I pet my cat, but she's still meowing.. She has food and everything...*.

Then I got the Samsung Z Fold 3 + Macbook Pro M1 chip *Stop meowing* and things have gotten much better - I can just chill, relax..

And remember, none of anything will matter.. People have to prepare for food shortages. Imagine living off the grid, hunting in the forest, fishing, building shelter etc? People are like "Life is so much better, away from the system" - But that's how it will be. I predict another big pandemic of some sort, and the world is just ... I only know because I was curious to access all the relevant information.

People won't believe my fears - But I'm comfortable, forever how many few months or years that this lasts. No one knows as much as me, about the pattern of reality.. It's very religious in nature - That's what freaks me out.. Like we're all just animations or cartoons.. People are different yeah, have different ways of seeing the world..

And BB, I get that too (With the autist friend) - I'm like "I have to be alone, and be productive etc" - Just have to find balance/content (In the back of the mind) - And still calmly chill out, not be so hard on yourself.

But maybe SP is jealous of my philosophy (I'm not sure - It's hard to tell when she doesn't talk much, feels like games are being played on me. And it really bothers me). What did I do wrong? The research chemicals?

Cuz my family understands and accepts me. I'm kind of funny.. You saw my suicidal ideation etc (That it can get bad). Idk why some people don't like seeing me happy, even though I can't be bothered to try and get good at something specific, or do things without confusion - So I relax, and not to be hard on myself. It works well, until I can figure out what to do.

But it was like that with the video chat people. I believe that I'm doing the right thing. I'm not listening to anyone (Even my dad) - I'm in a different reality (The true one, to myself). No one understands what I say to them, then they say "What do you mean?" - So I explain myself again (While tripping over my words) and then they think there's something wrong with me - And see me as if I'm stupid/reject my humanity etc cuz I'm not social enough.