So many things are coming out in our most recent discussions that don't make sense, but do make me feel that what she was telling me, wasn't 100% her true feelings, which was never how she and i had ever interacted.

Things changed, at a point, and she began "testing " i think. For example, last night, i confronted her about some of these inconsistencies, in the quietest, most loving way.

I said, "You know, when you told me that i had your blessings to find a sex partner, you destroyed me. I heard "i don't love you" and it was devastating. Then the cold, heartless text, and again you broke my heart, and yet i stayed. I've never stayed in a bad relationship. I always ran, but i stayed here because of what my heart tells me, not my brain."

Her answer, typed from my written notes, was baffling and truly left me speechless.

She said, "I still had deep feelings for you, but i needed to see how you would react to see if you were serious.

I had 100% female energy and no masculine energy. I was unbalanced. You have 100% masculine energy and zero empathy or feminine energy.

Our soul contract was for you to break my heart, through your workaholism, and emotional abandonment, so i could learn to think with my brain. My part of the soul contract was to break your heart to see that you need to open your heart chakra and feel more and think less."