Well, I had my first ketamine infusion this morning! It was a very unusual experience.

I felt a loss of control over my thoughts, my body felt numb, I could see my feet moving but didn't feel anything. I tried to speak but I couldn't control myself to muster speech. I was outside myself at the same time as a feeling of being trapped within myself.

When the infusion finished, all those strange sensations went away and I was able to move and feel like I usually do.

I guess I'm better prepared now for the next infusion on Thursday.

So far, I don't feel any differently than I normally feel - anxious and low - but what I've read and been told is that it can take a few infusions to start feeling better.

Keeping my fingers crossed.