This is a thing for me right now, too. My T is on vacation this week and, as usual, he wouldn't say anything about where he was going. We had a long discussion about it recently, and I did my best to explain why it made me more anxious not having any sense of where he was. I said how one reason was that if, say, a natural disaster or other deadly event happened, if I knew he wasn't in that area, I wouldn't be worried about him. (He said, "You want to make sure I'm not spending a week fighting in Ukraine?")

I said I knew I probably wouldn't hear about other things that happened, like if he fell into the Grand Canyon (he said that would actually probably make the news) or got mauled by a bear. (I was trying to go with sort of ridiculous things, and this would be a horrible time of year to visit the Grand Canyon due to the heat, so I seriously doubted he was doing that.)

He seemed to understand a little more, but still wouldn't budge. I even said something vague like what general area of the country, what direction he was heading in from our area, etc.

As he tends to fall back on the "professional relationship" thing, I said I imagined if I asked my medical doctor where she was going on vacation, she'd likely tell me. Or if I worked in an office, my boss. He said how the therapeutic relationship is different and more personal.

How it partly was an issue because it would take the focus away from me and what's going on in my life. To which I said, "Uh, isn't that what we're doing now? If you'd just said, for example, 'We're going to Cabo,'" then we could have moved onto other things.

His response was if he said, "I'm going to Cabo," that it would be weird for it to end there. I said if knew he was only going to say where he was going and not answer any questions, I would just say, "OK, have a good time" and not ask follow-up questions. He said that it wouldn't be a natural way to have a conversation. I said if my neighbor (who I don't know that well) told me that, I'd probably respond similarly. He was like, "Really?" I said yes (and meant it!) That if it was a friend, I might ask more details, or if they were going to a place I know well, might ask where they're staying.

I said also, that even though I know this is his general policy, it feels like he doesn't trust me with the information. Like, I'm not going to show up where he is. I'm not going to post online where he's going. I forget what he said to that? I think he was just trying to confirm that it felt like it was about me (even though he doesn't tell any clients).

I really feel like if he just said, "We're going to one of the area beaches" or "the West Coast" or "Canada" or whatever, even really vague, it would have gone a long way. It almost feels at this point like he's just sort of wielding his power/authority. (Hm, that might be something to mention to him, actually.) I don't see how this helps me, aside from, I guess, getting used to not having what I want? Like you mentioned, I feel it leads to unnecessary preoccupation and anxiety.

Sorry, this was incredibly long, and only about one aspect of your post! It just hit close to home. I may write something else on self-disclosure in general later.