So now we discovered something new. After telling me for two years she does not love me, she even sends me a text saying to "please find a partner to share physical intimacy with and show her this text to prove i am ok with it,"

Then, when i asked her why she married me, she said, "because i saw your potential," NOT because im in love with you.

Then, the July 2nd text that read, "i have searched my heart and soul and i have no love for you. We are only together for two incomes,"

Then, asking me why am i always sitting around waiting for her to talk to me, when i should be "going out and meeting like minded friends."

So, for 4 years, i remained faithful throughout zero physical intimacy, all the while trying to figure this out, working on my flaws, but not understanding any of this, so i finally just throw up my hands and say, "fine."

Then this padt Saturday, i met the mutual friend of our drummer and Sunday i get invited to go hang with the group.

We drive around (group in MBZ SUV) singing in the car (she's a former pro backup vocalist and now a phys asst), we go get Pho, hit a winery for wine tasting, then a park, a Starbucks, then a Mexican restaurant with a live band.

Most relaxed, fun time I've ever had with zero trying to be a better/different version of myself.

I get home about midnight and crash in my room.

The next day my wife said i was "torturing me by going out on me."

She added, "I watched you on our family GPS Tracker going to all these places. Now you need to explain to your mom and kids why i can no longer be on the family circle GPS map."

I said, "Do you recall turning me down recently when i asked if you wanted to (platonically) go with me to Catalina Island?"

No response.

Then i asked, "Do you remember telling me you "never say anything you don't mean?"

She answered, "Yes."

I said, "Look at the evidence. 4 years you say you feel nothing for me, want only my income, invite me to find a sex partner so you will not feel pressured to engage in physical intimacy, and continually reiterate that you feel nothing for me beyond a friend."

"Then, i meet some friends, one of which is female, and spend 12 hours talking about life, telling you in advance that i was going, and you feel betrayed?"

She replied, "Yes."

To which i said, "but you don’t love me and you are not in love with me."

She said, "That’s how i felt. I was mad. Hurt. But, when you said you were gonna be around this female friend of the drummer, i felt feelings again that i had forgotten or denied."

I replied, "why on earth would you push me away for 4 years, then suddenly "feel" something for me?"

She said, "I don't know actually. "

I told her, "Had i have known you had feelings for me, i would not have gone, even though i still believe we have no choice but to divorce."

This is enough to drive you nuts.