Your wife is going to be bad mouthing you to family and friends before she's done. She knows good and well that people will inevitably make judgements about who let who down . . . and she wants to come out smelling like a rose, as the person who was hurt and betrayed. That's why she's so eager to see you involved with another woman. She'll try to turn the kids against you and even influence your own parents. Tell her nothing about who you meet or talk to.

Do not get pushed out of that house to please her. You need a roof over your head too. She's going to needle you to the point where you go renting an apartment. Then she'll tell everyone that you left her to lead a playboy life. Then she'll happily have that nice house all to herself. She may plan on living there a lot longer than you think. She was going to move east? That's the story she told you. You have no idea what she's going to do.

This woman will make you crazy, if you let her. She may actually have no plans of going anywhere. She may want you to stay with her, contributing your income to the home, but living there as a housemate. If she can get evidence of you going off with another woman, she'll play the role of the martyr. Her mind is cooking up stuff that you have no idea about. And she's not going to tell you. Meanwhile she wants you spilling your guts out to her. Anything you tell her, she'll use against you. This is one tricky woman. She's throwing you crumbs, by saying she still has feelings, because she knows you still care for her. Don't get took in.

Maybe you saw a lawyer back when she and you set up these contracts of separation. Maybe they're valid, and maybe they're full of legal holes and won't stand up. Get to an attorney and bring your "contract" and see what rights you may still have that you thought you signed away. I doubt that your wife has any intention of "living off the grid." All this drama that she's generating has more to do with MONEY than you have any idea. Don't get left high and dry. It's great that you have a good income, but face reality. You are not a kid. For you to have to start from scratch is setting you up for a miserable set of golden years. Don't be a fool. Salvage what you can of what you've invested in your joint wealth. She's the one baling out.

Clearly, this marriage is over . . . and has been over for quite a while. She has strung you along for the past 4 years to maintain the household income. That's a real crummy thing to do. Maybe she was waiting for her two kids to reach a certain age. Basically, she was looking out for her own best interests. Time for you to do the same. BTW - you need a will that reflects that this marriage is ended. You need a POA that allows someone to make decisions for you tomorrow, if a motor vehicle accident puts you in a coma. It should not be her. Check your insurance policies. You may need to change the beneficiary designation. It may be time to sit down with your parents and explain a few things, IF they are trustworthy. Their job is to love and support YOU.

Stop hoping for what will never be, and stop letting this woman play with your head. The sooner you can get away from her, the better . . . but do it with an attorney's advice, so you safeguard your interests. You still have more living to do, but you don't have a lot of time to waste. Best of luck to you. (Make your own luck.)