Maybe you saw a lawyer back when she and you set up these contracts of separation. Maybe they're valid, and maybe they're full of legal holes and won't stand up. Get to an attorney and bring your "contract" and see what rights you may still have that you thought you signed away. I doubt that your wife has any intention of "living off the grid." All this drama that she's generating has more to do with MONEY than you have any idea. Don't get left high and dry. It's great that you have a good income, but face reality. You are not a kid. For you to have to start from scratch is setting you up for a miserable set of golden years. Don't be a fool. Salvage what you can of what you've invested in your joint wealth. She's the one baling out.

Clearly, this marriage is over . . . and has been over for quite a while. She has strung you along for the past 4 years to maintain the household income. That's a real crummy thing to do. Maybe she was waiting for her two kids to reach a certain age. Basically, she was looking out for her own best interests. Time for you to do the same. BTW - you need a will that reflects that this marriage is ended. You need a POA that allows someone to make decisions for you tomorrow, if a motor vehicle accident puts you in a coma. It should not be her. Check your insurance policies. You may need to change the beneficiary designation. It may be time to sit down with your parents and explain a few things, IF they are trustworthy. Their job is to love and support YOU.

Stop hoping for what will never be, and stop letting this woman play with your head. The sooner you can get away from her, the better . . . but do it with an attorney's advice, so you safeguard your interests. You still have more living to do, but you don't have a lot of time to waste. Best of luck to you. (Make your own luck.)