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Originally Posted by jesyka
Sorry to hear that. Ignoring bulllies doesn’t work. You need to stand up to them. Did you ever get upset & show her a reaction? If so, then that’s why they continued to bully you probably as they love seeing you get upset.
I know that now. I hope that her bad karma got her. I hate bullies. They suck. The obnoxious kids that were desperate for attention were asking to be bullied, sorry.
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Thanks for asking. This got me remembering how I reacted. I think I kind of dissociated while she raged at me, shutting down, trying to hold back tears. I don’t think I responded in the moment. I didn’t get hysterical, crying then and there in the classroom. I waited until I got home then let it out. I remember going home, crying and telling my mother about it several times.
My mother didn’t contact the school or the girl’s parents, didn’t do anything. She told me to try to convert them into my friends. She suggested I start an after school club and invite them all over because that’s what she did when she was in school. I realize now what skewed advice that was because when she did that, she wasn’t bullied by the girls, and she was a teenager and the club was about …get this… being fans of the heartthrob boy in the class. That’s why the girls came, my mother must have promised them that the cute boys would be at her house! She did get the boys there, too. My mom was the “popular” beauty queen and this was the advice she was giving her ugly duckling, bullied, young daughter.
I’ve had an issue with emotional dysregulation that was brought out in me as an adult in my marriage by my husband’s extremely crazy-making, frustrating treatment of me. It’s interesting to me that I was able to contain my crying meltdown when I was bullied in the moment.
How did you react when you were bullied?
The kids who antagonized which got themselves bullied, seemed to be in a vicious cycle where they probably got bullied first and then were likely doing the provoking behavior because they felt more in control in a sad, faulty thinking way. Like, “If I’m going to be bullied, I’ll be the intentional cause of it”.
When I grew up, I didn’t see any adults get involved and stop bullying. At least, with my kids, adults and the school intervened.
Have you still gotten bullied as an adult? What is adult bullying like?
P.s. IDK what happened to the bully girl. I’m sure she’s fabulously successful. I do know that one of the girls became a judge!