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Anyways, would it be weird or inappropriate if I nicely asked new acquaintances if they could please initiate plans next time?
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I have learned that if someone wants to be in my life, they make the effort. No, don't ask them to reach out to you. They know how to get in touch with you. They have your cell #, your email, your social media information. If they don't reach out, it's because they don't want to.
I just deleted another one-sided acquaintance from my cell # and Facebook. I can't be bothered with shallow, one-sided connections. I want real friendships in my life.
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It seems like I almost always need to initiate contact with almost everyone that I know. Even friends who I’ve known for years. I’m not sure why that is. I feel like I’m not a priority to anyone at all.
It often feels like most people only keep me around to have as an option when no one else is available or because they maybe feel sorry for me.
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I feel your pain. I really do. It is frustrating when we meet someone we get along with, and see the potential for a real friendship. Only to learn that they don't feel the same way, yet, instead of just telling us, they show us through their behavior (they never initiate a social invitation or respond to our social invitation).
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I have invited a few new aquaintences out 2 or 3 times already & a few times they made plans but then forgot about them or they suggest getting together but then never followed through.
It’s do frustrating! I feel like giving up on even trying anymore! I’m constantly getting mistreated & ignored!
Why? What’s confusing is that most of the time these women seem to enjoy being around me.
But then I end up getting ignored having them give me constant busy excuses. I get that people are busy, but I get the busy excuse all the time.
It’s ridiculous. Why do people do this? Am I maybe getting the ‘polite’ brush off? Are these women giving me ‘hints’ that I’m not getting maybe? Are they being ‘nice’ by not ignoring me completely?
One lady just bought me a birthday lunch. That doesn’t sound like she wanted to blow me off unless she changed her mind about me later, idk. I mentioned something that I shouldn’t have about a first time DUI. Bad idea.
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I think people do this because they are self-centered. And, when they don't feel invested in a social connection, they don't make the effort to tell the person the truth (that they aren't interested in a real friendship).
I've learned at age 52, that if someone ignores my social invites or doesn't invite me out, that they just don't like me. Do I have any real friends? Nope. Just a lot of lop-sided, one-sided, acquaintance-ships that continue to languish and collect dust online as I never hear from them or see them in person (they never respond to my invites and they never invite me anywhere).
I think if it really bothers you, you could set a boundary with these women and see how they respond. I like Bill's suggestion. If they ignore your invitation with silence, and never follow-up; that's their passive-aggressive way of showing you that they don't value your social connection beyond passing acquaintance.
Don't second guess any information that you disclose with these women either. If they really valued their connection to you, they wouldn't be put off by it. If they judge you because you are confident in being your true, authentic self, then they are not compatible as friends with you.
As soon as anyone shows you through their actions if you're a priority or option in their life, believe them. If you're just an option, they will just ignore you and not really respect you, even if you set a boundary with them. If you are a priority in their life, they will value you and respect you and initiate social invitations with you so that its not a lop-sided, one-sided social connection.
Just my observations from my own experiences/struggles with friendships. I hope you feel better about it.