Dear T,
I miss you. I had two intense, productive sessions with R and think we've maybe figured some stuff out. Which is good. But I want to talk to you about it.

And I want to talk to you about the stuff that's been going on with D. It didn't seem like enough to warrant an email, but I really could have used your guidance (and it would have been too much background to share with R, plus I wanted to work with her in her areas of strength).

I'm used to updating you every few days. I keep thinking, "Oh, I'm going to tell you about x" then realize I won't be seeing you until Monday. I even looked for your car out of habit when I parked in the lot for R.

I'm trying to just sit with the missing you and be OK with it. I think it was easier over the weekend and until this morning, because I knew I'd be seeing R. Plus you invoiced me Monday, so I assumed that meant you still existed.

But now it's nothing until Monday, as I think R is away, too. I know I should go do things to take my mind off it, but it's going to be miserably hot, and I already have a migraine today from it, so I just want to hide inside. I don't even have much work to do now (that was all due this morning). I suppose I could work on my writing a bit. And more reading the book on meaning (and maybe I could get that other book on meaning that I was discussing with R).

I'll do my best not to email you. I think it will be easier if I think of it day by day. Like, "I won't email you tonight." Then tomorrow, "OK, I won't email you this morning...this afternoon...tonight." And go through it that way. To also think that if I do end up sending something, that's OK. To see it more as a challenge to myself to not do so. Like, "Let's see how long I can go!" And celebrate going however long that is (it's already been 5 days--halfway). Rather than to think it will be a failure if I do so.

Anyway, hope you're safe and healthy and having a fun and relaxing time, wherever the hell you are. And that maybe I cross your mind for a few seconds at some point this week.

Love you,
LT