R was helpful again today--she was talking some about Internal Family Systems, with the exile (like the child part) and the protectors, then the self. It helped me think about things differently. Also about the place I want to get to, in terms of self-love, so that I don't need to keep trying to get it from the outside (not that love from others isn't important, but it also can't fill a certain void). And finding meaning. And a bunch of other stuff that I'm still processing.

I may be able to see her for a session at the end of August, when Dr. T tends to go away for 5-7 days for a particular event, so it's good to think that we could continue a conversation then. Or I could potentially schedule another time with her sooner, though I need some time to process what we discussed, I think (plus I'll be away for most of a week in August with my family).

And there's stuff going on with D that I wish I could talk to Dr. T about this week (as he knows all the background). It's hard because I'm just used to updating him so regularly. Over the weekend and earlier this week, I kept thinking, "Oh I can discuss that in our session," then remembering that's not until Monday, 7/31. Which I know isn't *that* far away. But it can feel like it when you're used to frequent contact. I'm halfway there, I guess? My goal is not to email him.