I’d not be telling people that they should initiate more. If they want to see you, they would initiate. I don’t think it’s something you need to specifically ask for, especially since they find excuses not to see you when you initiate.

I find one thing you said interesting. You said you aren’t their priority. But honestly for most adults their friends might not be the first priority in life. I have a couple of good friends and I care for them but if I was asked to prioritize people and things in my life, they’d not be on the very top. I wonder how realistic is your expectation of importance of hanging out with friends.

I also wonder if you subconsciously sabotage your connection to people/push them away before it even starts by over sharing from the get go. Like you are setting up stage for them to start avoiding you. Telling people that you were kicked out from bars or had DUIs could push someone away before they even know you. But it’s also possible you do it due to anxiety. Oversharing is common in those cases