Feeling a little better today. My wife is experiencing one of her common episodes where her emotional stress manifests itself in physical pain, so she is off work today.

She softened a little yesterday in our conversations. As long as i have known her, she has said crying is a sign of weakness and she would get upset with me if i cried. Ive seen her cry three times in 10 years. The past 3 days, she has cried non-stop.

She cannot seem to get past our past.

She said that she does not believe that i was as deeply in love with her when we married as she was with me. I told her - truthfully - that i was very skeptical and guarded with my heart due to a bitter divorce, so i held back a lot out of fear.

She's totally fixated on that because she says she loved me "all the way" without hesitation or reservations.

I asked her last night if me living in this house was hurting her.

She replied, "this is as much your home as it is mine. We both sacraficed for this. You have as much right to be here as i do. You have to search your heart abd do what the Holy Spirit tells you."

I told her that since we have the divorce filed now, lets just enjoy our evenings together (as peaceful cohabitants) and garden together, etc., but im not sure she can let go of the past long enough to enjoy the present.

Its a very sad situation.