I’m not sure where the line is for sharing and over sharing.

When we are getting to know new friends, we feel each other out about what works. For example, if they use foul language, then you know that it is okay for you to do the same. Or maybe you are offended by that and don’t want to be their friend because they do.

The time I’m thinking of for myself was when I was going through a trauma, something that was happening in my family. I went to lunch with a woman who was trying to be my friend. Our kids went to school together. I let out to her the whole crazy story. It came out of me like blaaaaahhhhh. No, she never called me again and I’m not surprised. I regret doing that but I was just so in panic mode, I couldn’t help it. I shouldn’t have done that. She was supportive in the moment, but I’m sure she was mortified.

I’ve already told very personal things to my new friend and she has also told me the same about herself. I am too much of an open book. I know this isn’t really right of me and it’s probably going to backfire on me somehow. I am trying to be better. She reacted happy to hear it and share about herself as well. So idk what oversharing really is. I mean, I want to be myself.

You shouldn’t have to hold back and censor yourself. Maybe someone else can give pointers about what is proper to share and what shouldn’t be.

Don’t give up on people. They are far from ideal, but it’s nice to spend time with others.

There was nothing wrong with what Bill said. I just thought the part where he said “I would really like that” felt a bit needy. I feel coming across as needy is really off-putting to people, and would avoid it. You want to seem secure, reliable, open… traits like that.

You don’t have to let others use you as a therapist. When they start going on for too long about their woes, you can change the subject to something more positive.

If someone keeps flaking on you, yes, you should take it as a hint they don’t want to see you. Yes, it is rude for them to encourage you and then let you down. Sometimes it’s hard for people to be honest. It’s easier to lie and then disappoint.

It won’t do you any good to tell her off. If you just leave her be, maybe she will reach out to you in the future. Why burn a bridge?