Dear T: It sucks, and maybe even kind of hurts that you don’t see much value in us continuing in the same way. I understand, but it just feels like another blow to my already battered system.

E: I should have said I wanted to talk this morning, I am such an idiot. And how on earth am I going to wait until Wednesday to talk to you about this?? I am shattered. Losing you is going to VERY difficult. I just think we have been in crisis mode for so long, and never got to really get into the trauma work. I am going to miss you so so much. Why does my life keep spiraling down? I am not sure if I can do it anymore, especially without your help.