I think it is very understandable that you are in emotional pain and I am so sorry you are suffering.

My experience is that people act out of all kinds of motives, many they are not even aware of and many that contradict each other. I think this is especially true when people are emotionally conflicted. In such a state one can witness people doing things which seem very contrary and contradictory.

I have done things that logically do not make sense although inside of me these contradictions seem quite content to coexist. Do you think that maybe your mother is acting out of a situation like this?

Since I am not a doctor or mental health professional, of course, I have no clue. Just throwing ideas out there. Hopefully other members here will prove more helpful to you. Sorry that I don't know how to be helpful to you in your distress!