"Honestly I recommend you stop looking at her pictures and agonize about her looks. There are ton of incredible looking women who don’t use men for money and don’t discard their kids. "

I totally agree.

I don't know how her friends can abide someone who would do the things she's done. I can't imagine what story she's telling to the men in her life.

Our daughter told her one of her conditions for entering counselling with her mom was that she cut ties with her friends that influenced her on these things. Well, pictures on FB with her friends and no contact with her kids.

A friend sent me the FB pictures today, and it stirred a bunch of stuff in me. Yes, she's attractive, but she also intermittently "got" me in profound ways. I felt very attuned with her for short intermittent times.... Which is a hallmark of being reeled in for more "supply".

My health hadn't been good for weeks either. I honestly think it's a stress response. It's like tendinitis... Everywhere. My wrists, forearms, shoulders, neck, knees, low back, everything is flared up. I've gotten older, but my health has always been good, and I've stayed darn strong, and able to work hard. The crash and loss of that is getting me down too.

And the costs, and the planning.... Trying to figure out meals and gas on a very tight budget, and knowing a divorce will financially wreck me, and the kids chances for college.

I can't believe the selfishness of it all.

And I'm mourning her. And realizing she was a chameleon for years and years.