I'm really sorry for the severe pain.
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I'm just having a lot of difficulty understanding why she would be hurt or even care.
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Could she have gotten something out of having you around? Something that she has not gotten for three years now?
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I mean she had three years to write to me and say something. Why wait three years to say something.
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Could there be some reason in the present that she is mad at you, such that she wants to hurt you by bringing up something that happened three years ago?