Dear fuzzybear... yes I can relate to this and I bet many more people here and elsewhere do, even those who are supposedly "healthy" and "ok". I'm sorry I can't understand all you are going through but I see you feel like you have failed, so maybe you are adding much self-criticism to the unsatisfactory social interaction that took place on the phone. Please, don't do that, it's like battering yourself against an anvil and won't help your purpose. Everybody wants to do and say the right thing at the right time and be appreciated by others... you and me need less rigidity and more understanding in those situations or we shall break and shatter. Take it easy on yourself, do things and entertain yourself with activities that distract this harsh censor of ours and hope to find empathy and understanding in others, at least those that count... I actually haven't found the right recipe other than medication, I must still improve a lot, and I wish you all the best too. Sorry a friend of yours is not among us anymore. (((Hugs))).