Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that you are, indeed, too needy. (I'm not saying you are, but let's just assume that you are . . . for the moment.) What kind of friend comes around and throws that in your face? Every single one of us is too something-or-another. But when we are relating to those we care about, we find ways around that. If someone I love is a bit on the needy side, I find ways to manage that . . . like maybe I won't be available for a 2 hour long phone call everyday. Vice versa, this person might find that I'm a procrastinator who's always late for everything. So, if she needs me to show up at 2 p.m., she might tell me to come by at 1:30 p.m., since she's allowing for a tendency she knows I have. We allow for each other's faulty inclinations. Love and goodwill leads us to do that in ways that are kind and charitable. I do that for others, and I need them to do that for me. We all have our tendencies that need reining in.

I think that was a beeyitchee thing for your friend to say, regardless of whether it was true or not true. It is callous to throw a judgement like that in someone's face. Of course, it is hurtful. And it was unnecessary. There are other, more humane ways of setting a limit, if she thought you were imposing too much on her. But she didn't care enough to be bothered.

Quite honestly, you have never struck me as an attention hound. Just the opposite. Sometimes what a person blurts out, by way of criticism, says more about them than about you. But I understand how you could take that to heart and feel despondent about it. I would too.

I had a friend who used to offer me all kinds of "constructive criticism." She would end by saying, "I'm telling you this because that's what friends are for - to tell you what you need to be told." I put up with it for years. Last year I'ld had it. I don't see her anymore. Other people who knew her told me that she could be very arrogant, which she was.

We all have times of need. Friends have options for how they can respond. Saying something hurtful is not the option a real friend chooses.