Wow - this woman just amps up the cruelty to higher and higher levels. She's determined to just bust you apart mentally as much as she can.

JTL - I'm going to say something, and I mean this very seriously: I think your wife is truly mentally disturbed.

Lots of people leave their spouses for very good reasons and don't act as mean and miserable as your wife is acting. This is not typical behavior of a woman wanting a divorce. There are women who've left alcoholics, addicts, compulsive gamblers and even men who were physically abusive without getting into the mean state of mind your wife is into. I've known some women in bad marriages and some that left bad marriages. Your wife's behavior is outside the bounds of how even women under much worse stress behave.

I'm sorry, but this lady is not the sweetie-pie you initially described. There is something really wrong with her. It sounds like you have been in a role that we usually think of women being in. But it can also happen to men. You might be surprised to learn that men are sometimes admitted to domestic abuse shelters. It doesn't sound like you are in physical danger, but you're describing a level of emotional abuse that is really off the charts. This is flat-out pathologic.

Over many years, possibly through multiple relationships, you seem to have developed a capacity to tolerate real nastiness. I hope that therapist you're seeing is competent. It might be good for you to see a male therapist for a few sessions and get a second opinion as to what's going on in your life. I still think you should also see an attorney. This woman sure enjoys composing vicious notes to you. Next time she presents you with a letter, you might consider declining to accept it. You're under no obligation to read stuff as sick as she writes. This is why some couples separate and then communicate only through their lawyers. This is only going to get worse. It's not hard to see the trajectory that your wife is on.