Artie - yeah what IS that about?! I think with my mom, it was her way of not letting me rest. Of letting me know love was conditional and i was no where close to meeting those conditions. That she made this decision before i was born and was never going to change her mind. So.

So its not just a matter of, gee im going over my calorie alloc for the day. Its - this feels like a survival issue. And if i eat, then i will survive.

I have been having such a sense of peace this weekend, of nobody rushing me, of nobody criticizing me. Of peacefully enjoying fruit and coffee in the morning, and then thats enough.