Pleasure and pain. People want to cause me pain, and deprive me of pleasure.

All I do is lift people up - And want to make them feel GOOD. Not BAD.

Idk what is wrong with people. It's like with likes here or on any other social media, I don't just deprive someone of a "like" 100% of the time.

I don't judge anyone, but they judge me. People don't know that none of this is real (Although free will is an illusion, and God gave us free will) - But people ignore God - And that pain is real for others - That's empathy.

I'm not real - Other people are real, cuz they feel love, pleasure and pain etc. If I just feel pain so much (All of the time), I don't want to be real. That's why people dissociate. Fear (Opposite of love).

I work, feel pain. I come home, feel pain on the internet. When I'm in nature, I get intrusive thoughts about my addiction and conversations, what I should do when I get back - But also ideas. For what?

Masculinity is a good thing - But 90% don't do it right. They're stuck in a bad pattern, created by getting what they want. I let it all go - **** it. Then when I try to make sense of the social hierarchy, to just live, share things with people - They look down on me. And that's why, when people "make it", or get money, they flash it around. Women want that, and are attracted to money.

Gratitude is the main thing. To be happy with what you have - I'm just social/human like most people. But I'm confused as ****. And 50% of what I say, doesn't make sense.. Like why do I have to develop complete understanding - When there's too much nonsense in my head, in the world. No one knows wtf they're doing.

But meditation is the main thing - Because I've realized - Once you focus on the breath, you can stop thinking (Like all of the nonsense that I'm writing right now) for 5 seconds, then 10 seconds, 15 seconds, 5 minutes - And then;

All of your emotions and energies - They go back to baseline. It's like not having insight (When NOT in that state). And that's what nature does (If you're there for long enough).

Nothing is for free.. Everything goes up, and then down.. Everything has a cost.

Lol ^-; Like I'd understand if people didn't agree with me - And there's others that do - So who is it that connects with each other - Different people.. So that's a situation, of disconnection - Chaos. Especially when algorithms on social media make money from people being mad, and arguing.

Then that bleeds into society, divides people. Pharmaceutical companies are in on it - Promote doctors to prescribe oxycodone, and then everyone wants heroin - Then they lace it with fentanyl, and start killing people.

All they wanted was to stop the pain. And so all the rich people get to have that pleasure - stolen from sons, daughters, parents, siblings - Overdosing. They can't get help because they bribe politicians to lock them up in cold cells - To keep the pain/pleasure cycle in that way.

And why do people judge the ones in pain.. Idk.