I agree Bill.

It's just all part of the conditioning.

It's part of breaking the pattern and breaking the addiction. I'm addicted. I'm chasing an intermittent high since years.

I'm used to NOT being validated. Stating my love and commitment and being shredded for it is typical. We hit that point about 4 years ago where I resolved I'd do my best, no matter how vulnerable it made me and just accept whatever I got in return.

So... I'm hurting and my conditioning is telling me to try again, try harder. Make it right. Maybe you'll connect and have some peace and some validation.