I'm awake since before dawn, as keeps happening. The kitchen is still a mess.

Usually, during a depressive episodes I tell myself that it will blow over. It always has. I get going, clean up my place, and I'm better.

This is different because I am starting to feel self-loathing. Feeling disappointed in other people can cause sadness. But hating yourself is way worse. I keep thinking that I want to die.

Not a very interesting thread, I know.