Tony is depressed. He hates his job. We hate our house, it wont sell. He was talking to my daughter tonight and he told her not to tell me cos he doesn't want me to worry but i do worry, she told me cos he flipped at her about something really trivial and made her cry. She's a tough cookie and usually gives it back (she's 19) but he then apologised to her and told her all this. He recently was turned down for a job he really wanted. He is very intelligent and he feels brain dead in this job.

I feel guilty about him being depressed, he has a councellor to help him with the problems caused by my illness (depression ptsd etc) but i feel he finds it hard to open up. This has come out of the blue, i feel guilty cos i'm not working and i feel i should be although i doubt i'd cope right at this point in time.

He has suffered with depression before quite badly. We both want to go bankrupt and start afresh, we would rent somewhere ..... oh why is life so hard sometimes ..... i know we will get through this, we have been through worse together, i just hope we can help each other out of this blah time.

thanks for listening, just needed to get it out really.

I know it seems like i'm a bit like a yo yo at the moment up and down lol .... but life is a rollercoaster, these things are sent to try us

Jin xx rant over