Yes, I can relate to some of your life too.

Still reminded of my traumatic birth 60+ years ago. She's just turned 88 but still has some horrible personality traits. Everyone she's ever known has let her down.

At least my mother has now stopped goading me (at least for the past few months). However, damage has been done as she's told family members that I'm to blame for how she feels. In a very frank discussion with my aunt more over a year ago, she made a very telling comment "now I know it's not all you".

All I did was tell my mother that I would not try to solve her problems with other people (including my aunt). We're a small family but as long as everything revolves around my mother then life is fine!

If you can get your own place, then do it. It will bring you freedom and peace of mind