When a person is exposed to a man who physically and sexually abuses his own child, that’s really bad, that’s like experiencing Lucifer bad That is something the nervous system never recovers from even when the victim so desperately wants it to go away.

I am sure you would never harm someone that way, unfortunately what you described triggered your wife’s daughter to react but not by conscious choice. Experiencing such an evil person leaves life long challenges that only those who have this challenge can understand and validate.