So I have been married for 12 years, I'm 37, and we've been together for 15 years. In all this time my husband hasn't worked at all. I have built us from the ground up in a foreign country, adapting to the culture and learining the language as well.
Besides that, I've been responsible for all our finances, I do all the cooking and most of the cleaning. When he has a bad day he takes it out on me or he stops talking to me for days, weeks or even months. If I ever speak my mind and tell him something is not ok he has just the right words to say and he always makes himself out to be the victim. I am aware that this is a form of emotional abuse but I have only recently come to that realization.
So finally after so many secon chances I have decided to tell him I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. He stopped talking to me again for a few days last week because I didn't want to go out with him at the exact time he wanted so the next days I went to work and lacked the mental focus to deal with work stress like I usually do. That was the drop that filled my glass and I realized I am destroying my life in this relationship. I have had burnouts, been chronically depressed, had panick attacks etc. because of this toxic relatioship.
When I told him about my decision of course he blamed me for being checked out for the last few months. I need connection in order to sleep with him and slowly that connection has slipped away with every little or big disappointment. For example, I work full time so my schedule is stressful and all planned out. He threw a tantruma few months ago because I didn't want to watch some show with him because I just wanted to relax for a few hours. Sometimes he sleeps all day during the weekend which is the only time we have together. I asked him to vacuum once a week at least because we have 2 pets, he said he'd do it and it's been months with just me cleaning the whole house on the weekends. I ask him what plans he has and he just says he never has any plans.
Anyway... sorry for the rant. He blames me of course as usual because I didn't sleep with him in a few months.
I also asked him if he wants to stay in the apartment or if he wants to move away. Again...no plan. His income is not enough to pay for the apartment so his only option is to go live with his parents, whom he hates.
What scares me is that today when I asked him what his plan is he said I should just wait 2-3 days and I will get everything I want. Should I be taking that as a threat? I'm a little scared and I don't want to leave him on the street but he is again completely closed off. He even said there's no point in talking to each other. He is very desperate at this point too.
I feel guilty and worried...