I was never that fearless but used to take more risks. That trite saying about nothing ventured nothing gained is true, yet glosses over how much risking and venturing one is really doing. I can relate to what you’re saying believe me. Like you I’ve had so much of toxic people, even from my so-called “family”. It’s ever so much worse when it’s your own blood. It is NOT thicker than water.

Yeah I also seek comfort and safety. I don’t even feel safe in my own neighborhood and it doesn’t help to always be alone. Neighbors are no help. I even had one neighbor abruptly stop talking to me. We used to exchange greetings and small talk about building bs, like how the elevator is taking so long to be repaired. Now she walks past me without even looking at me. What the eff?

I looked up why do people suck and found a lot of stuff. One thing that stood out is how one article said it takes effort and work to be a good person, such as not ghosting people and making an effort in maintaining friendships. And people don’t want to do it.

I even try to cross the street with other people as drivers are less likely to turn in front of or run over a group. (I am aware of drivers plowing into crowds at riots or rallies but I’m referring to everyday or routine walking about)

Life has beaten me to a pulp and feel in pieces. If it wasn’t for this site I’d have lost my mind, thinking it’s just me.

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Posted directly on site using iPhone