It doesn't seem like I'll make it out in the world. I have had trouble with being so upset with things going wrong for me lately. I have struggled terribly with depression and have suffered terrible bouts of loneliness and almost going into meltdowns because of it. I haven't had much luck in forming relationships as an adult and I've been lucky to work out even if it was just a housecleaning job. I felt patronized and once had some nasty remark thrown at me about my reactions to things. I don't know what the hell God wants me here for. Just to make me suffer and to force me with people. I remember the times I was treated hostilely and sometimes made fun of for my strange mannerisms. I have had trouble letting past hurts slide and that's why I have had to distract myself quite a bit. a lot of my thoughts are often not pleasant, and I can be quite negative. It kind of makes me dislike myself sometimes. I was lucky to get any friendship or fun while I was in grade school. I knew then my life wouldn't be all that great. I knew how strange I looked to everybody and that I certainly wouldn't be all that damn popular or accomplish a whole lot.