I already wrote about this in the past. All I have suffered along years of obligatory social interactions, fighting day after day to live up the expectations, be the most close to a normal person and function, trying to put at bay my anxiety…all this filled my head of nightmares.

I have one of these nightmares nearly each other day (sorry if I didn’t use well this last expression) I mean, one day and maybe a day without a nightmare followed by a day with nightmares.
They are all terrible. I never find my way to the school I teach in. Or I can’t reach the classroom. It’s terrible. I always get lost. Streets change, buildings change. I have nightmares with my coworkers isolating me and leaving me alone or confronting me.
It may seem as a tiny thing but I was always very responsible and a person full of doubts towards myself. I always felt very isolated in the schools I worked. I was terrible at team working because of my sociability problems and my constant worries about doing things well.

These nightmares are suffocating and they made me want to cry.
Too long having these nightmares and they don’t want to go off.
I don’t know what to do if I ever could do something.
I don’t know. Is there something I can do?