Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
I threatened to leave for years until I finally could afford to. Had nothing to do with control but everythingbto do with his financial irresponsibility & his immature behavior I tolerated for 33 years.
Yea, when I was still with him I hired a divorce lawyer hoping it would be simple just to split everything (in Calif also) but he wanted everything & it was going to be a battle because he was & is a jerk. I was dealing with a trauma already & couldn't add the battle to it so I had the money to leave & move 2100 miles away & start life over with good therapy. I finally left & the threatening was over. Still had to deal with some major stupid financial things he had done & finally got my divorce in the state I moved to. He didn't believe I would really leave & he believed I would come back to him after I was away a couple of years. I have been gone 16 years & never looked back or regretted leaving.
Yea, saying mean things isn't good or right but I understand. I was so fed up after 33 years with him that only mean things came out of my mouth.
Don't minimize the possibility that he will leave. I told my now ex exactly what needed to change for me to stay but by the end there isn't any change he could have made that would have convinced me to stay. He said he believed that because I tolerated him for 33 years that I would tolerate him for the rest of our lives.
It is not wise to assume that your husbands threats to leave are idle threats just about control. I remember you posting about things that made your husband mad. Sometimes the mad doesn't go away it just stays & simmers until it hits a boiling point & the threat to leave is no longer a threat but a reality.
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Sorry to hear about your divorce. I’m glad to hear that you’re better off now. He is probably still resentful about a lot of things.