I tried to communicate a few things with my people pleaser friend today & she got really upset. I didn’t say anything that was out of line.

I just told her that I felt I was being ignored & I used ‘I’ statements. I told her that when I didn’t get a response to invites that I felt ignored & dismissed. I said that I’d appreciate a yes or no answer.

I did mention that I understood that she’s busy, but that I’d appreciate an answer as soon as possible & not have to wait a long time for an answer as I could invite another friend out if she’s not interested in doing something. She acted dismissive & said that since I don’t work, I don’t understand things, etc.

I also asked her about plans we made to spend the night at this beach town & she ignored me again. I brought that up & told her that I was hurt when I never got a response back. It was her idea, so she was interested in going.

I also mentioned that she used to intiate plans in the past, but that hasn’t happened for a long time.

And that hurt my feelings. Anyways, she texted me back & accused me of ruining her day & accusing me of calling her an awful person which I never did.

She then gaslit me more by saying that she planned to go to that beach town with me & that I have a short term memory. What? I remember that. I just asked her when she’d be available & to book the room.

I didn’t forget, lol. She used the good old ‘I’m busy’ excuse & that none of her other friends are like this & they all understand this but me.

She always uses work or her health as an excuse for everything every time I try to openly communicate with her about things which btw almost never happens because of how she reacts to honesty.

It seems like she hates ‘confrontation’ & is really angry at the fact that I refuse to accept her indirect passive aggressive behavior.

It’s like she is angry that I’m expecting her to respond to me directly & honestly. Idk.

Why is she lashing out at me like this & gaslighting me? All I wanted was to have a mature & honest discussion with her.

She kept accusing me of accusing her of being a bad horrible person. Wth? And that I ruined her day & that I stressed her put, etc. Ugh!

Now I feel like I can never be honest with her again. It seems like maybe she is trying to manipulate me into ‘behaving’ the way she thinks I should behave to make her feel more comfortable with things.

She agreed to call me later, but I feel like she’ll rehash the same gulit inducing crap & them say she has to go in order to manipulate me into never daring to upset her again with the truth.

Now I feel like I’ll need to censor myself around her. She isn’t the person I thought she was.

She just doesn’t want to hear about certain things that bother her. She has blown me off before by saying, I don’t want to deal with any ‘drama’ when I tried to warn her about a toxic mutual friend who was using her.

It’s almost like she wants everything to be sunshine & rainbows on my end all the time now, ugh! I understand that she’s busy & stressed, but to avoid talking about any issue at all isn’t good.

Why is she acting like this? What can I say to her to get her to see that I’m not attacking her? I told her I’m not attacking her but she doesn’t seem to believe that.