Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
If you saw her on 4th of July it’s only a month ago. Married employed people with busy lives don’t see friends more often than that. And if she has other friends and obligations, seeing you more often is unreasonable. How often is she supposed to see you?
Your issues with these people are mostly because you want lots of time with them but it’s unreasonable. You need hobbies and interests that you can enrich your life with
. It also seems to me that you want to be with these women because you need company for activities. You don’t seem to see them because you like them. You don’t seem to like them. You only ever have bad things to say about them.
If you only need them for activities, they can’t be always available, their free time is limited. And when they tell you they are busy you call it lying, passive aggressive, gaslighting etc You want them honest and direct but when they are honest and direct, you call them liars. It’s a vicious cycle. You need something else. This doesn’t seem to be working
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I understand that people don’t always have the time to get together. What I was trying to say is that I didn’t like the fact that my friend stopped intiating plens & it did feel like she was trying to avoid me with her non responses.
I do like the people I mentioned enough to still be their friend. Especially this friend. I admit the ones in my small group are mostly avtivity friends. I find them to be mostly self absorbed.
Not this one. It did me some good to speak up as we talked on the phone & she’s not upset with me. She just snspped because she was tired she said.
We’re going to lunch on Friday. She works where I live. I think that my message got through to her. Snd we’re going to the concert I mentioned.
I don’t think the issue or the problem lies solely with me. I really do tend to attract self absorbed people mostly who only want to talk about themselves & who tend to use me as a back up plan when no one else is available which sucks.
I feel like I deserve better than that. On a positive note, things are going OK with two new aquaintences. As my bad luck goes, of course they have a lot of issues & limitations. It ranges from illness to money issues, can’t function in crowds due to anxiety, etc.
Ugh. I need to tolerate that though. I wish that I could meet people who didn’t have so many issues.