Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
I had a friend who used the 'I' statements in very passive aggressive ways. Just because 'I' statements are used doesn't mean that what you said didn't come across to her as attacking.
It is obvious that neither of you is really compatible to be friends. Why don't you just stick with people who do exactly what you want so you don't have to continually complain about someone.
I would just leave her alone. If she ever wants to talk to you or make plans let her be the one that reaches out to you, otherwise you know exactly where you stand if she never calls you again. Let it go.
You complain about your husband, you complain about her, sounds like you are very practiced at being critical of other people whovdon't do or aren't exactly what yiu want from them. That is a good way to lose many people you might want to have as friends. It is a very negative attitude you seem to have when people aren't exactly what you expect them to be. They have a right to be who they are & if it isn't compatible with what you expect, don't hang around trying to change them. Go on to friends who are what you expect
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You misunderstood what I wrote. I’m not trying to change anyone. I just expect to be treated with more consideration, respect & like I actually matter to them.
I don’t like it when people act dismissive. Do you? I don’t think it’s to much to expect a yes or no answer & not have to wait forever for a reply for every single invite. It’s frustrating. Would you be OK with that?
I don’t like being ignored or flaked on. Why should I lower my standards?
I really don’t expect that much from people. As I said, I just want to be treated with respect & consideration & for people to actually ask me how I’m doing instead of talking about themselves all the time. It’s so rude & selfish of people to do that. Would you be OK with that? Probably not.
It’s like everyone on here thinks that I should settle for whatever I can get, ugh.
No thanks. I deserve to be treated better than that.
Other people have more unrealistic expectations of ME at times. Example, the friends from my small group have relentlessly harassed the hell out of me to be in group pics for years. I caved to often.
They know that I can’t stand to have my pic taken & that I hate how I look, but do they care? No, they are rude, selfish & only care about themselves! I literally said no 10 times or more a few times!
Then they rarely ask me how I’m doing. Then they make remarks & hints about diet, exercise & weight loss & one lady rudely gave me judgemental up & down looks for years as to say, you need to loose weight w/o saying it. To make matters worse, they all knew I used to ne bullimic, but do they care? No! Rude!
And I’m always expected to cater to their needs like accommodate their preference to meet early in the day or to only go to certain restaurants.
I had to change restaurants for MY own birthday because one lady in the group is a very picky eater. And she refused to attend my birthday dinner as she only wanted to be there for lunch & it also had to be outside as well! I didn’t even complain about anything btw.
I am so sick of people making demands from me but when I expect something reasonable, it’s like I’m the one who’s being unrealistic or expecting them to change. Weird!
So who us trying to change who now? Clearly it’s them. Clearly they are criticizing & judging me & disrespecting boundaries & my needs.
As far as my husband goes, he tried to force me to learn Hebrew to talk to his rude friends who would ignore me Most of them speak good English btw. He tried to force me to buy his mom a birthday gift & try to force me to be her friend. I didn’t force him to be friends with my mom.
He forced me to socialize with his rude friends & family up until 10 years ago. Clearly you are wrong about things.
Btw, my friend understood what I meant when we talked on the phone. We’re meeting later this week. And we’re going to the concert I mentioned.