Here’s the crux of the issue: “ I expect people to be honest & direct & not b.s me with lame excuses.”

These people are not acting the way you say you expect. The more accurate word to use is “want” rather than “expect”. You want them to act the way you want. They don’t act this way. Instead they do bs you with lame excuses. This is just what they do. You are frustrated because you can’t get them to act the way you want them to.

I suggest you look at it more accurately and realistically. Accept how someone really acts and meet them where they are, respond accordingly. You may not get any better results to build a healthier relationship because it seems very clear this friend keeps blowing you off, but at least you will spare yourself frustration.